oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
