i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
