first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
