So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
