Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dear god my vagina.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
