GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Too much gin, very little bucket
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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