who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think i have herpe
just one?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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