How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
