there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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