Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
