ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
