Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
