Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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