this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You don't make any sense
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