There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
