So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
