I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
