Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
