the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
