i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Randomize
