When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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