...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
