ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
