Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do herpes really smell.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
