You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
