I faked an abortion last night.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
