wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
