Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
