thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
