I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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