This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
