My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
