your thong is hanging out like whoa
I faked an abortion last night.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
