I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
