just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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