FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
