I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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