just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it hurts more in the daytime
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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