I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
