Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
