Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
