There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
