Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he high fived his dick after we had sex
how does that bad decision feel?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
