Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
