For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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