two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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