all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
