I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A+ Viking dick
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