Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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