can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
