She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
