hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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