I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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